Unfortunately, Minnesota Nice isn’t really about being “nice” at all. It’s more about keeping up appearances and avoiding confrontation.  Moreover, it can also be used as a negotiation tool, which causes confusion, misunderstanding and frustration among other participants.  So, what do you do when you are in a negotiation and you are confronted with “Minnesota Nice?”  Here are a few tips:

• Keep the negotiation focused on the issues, not the people.  This will help diffuse any potential personal confrontation.
• Be open and upfront, and expressly ask the same of other participants.
• Think bigger than the pie.  You don’t just have to cut the pie into pieces — expand the pie so that everyone is satisfied.
• Make sure you understand where each negotiator is coming from — their frame of reference.  This will give you insight into how to effectively negotiate with them.
• Plan properly for the negotiation.  Make sure you are prepared to deal with various scenarios prior to the actual negotiation.

Keep in mind the ultimate goal, to have a successful result to your negotiation. To accomplish this goal, all parties must “win.”  While each party will independently define what a “win” is to them, these negotiating tips may help you work through your next encounter with Minnesota Nice.

Please share your negotiating experiences and tips.